john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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