its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
