I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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