Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
