my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
