I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
