Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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