I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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