There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
