I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
