As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
