Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
