I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
