His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Ketchup is God's man juice
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
