I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
