my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
