i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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