so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
