oh god the rape fog is back!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
