okay pat passed out under dana's car
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
