I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
