Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
