I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
