oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
