Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
