What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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