his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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