I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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