You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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