never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
