Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
