I CAN MOONWALK!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
