Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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