then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
