Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
