I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
