PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
