i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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