we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
