I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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