No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
