it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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