he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am naked and annoyed.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
