bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
