I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
