Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
