If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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