wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i believe in u and ur pee
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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