rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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