Having a random hookup so left but love u
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
