If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
